4/24/2021
Expectations
“Go in with no expectations,” as you may have heard before going to AWE.[1] Maybe even in other parts of your life. They’re not wrong. And they’re not right either.
I began to expect to not expect. Pretty ironic.
I tried to continue this throughout the college process too and other aspects of my life, because I thought it was healthy. Paradoxical, I know. I told myself it worked, and maybe it did, just for a moment. And that moment was when I realized this:
Set intentions. It’s simply a step down from expectations. On AWE, you intend to grow. You intend to help your friends. You intend to be better. Perhaps, unconsciously, you knew this, because it’s already within you. Making it conscious, and clear, like you did already with expectations, will further help. You can try to set conscious expectations on yourself, and you may find yourself projecting your own “perfect” ideals on yourself. Perfectionism is a whole other story. At the very least, accept or let go of your expectations, and put your headspace into intentions.
Intend to intend
The word intention, according to Google, is a) a thing intended; an aim or plan. and b) (medicine) the healing process of a wound. Expectation, according to Google, a) a strong belief that something will happen or be the case in the future. b) (archaic) one's prospects of inheritance. c) (mathematics) another term for expected value. I’m not saying you’re wounded, but who doesn’t want to heal? What is a wound? Or a word? And who’s absolutely perfectly healthy in this world? I have not met such an individual, though I’m in no place to deem so. How well can you fully predict your future Athenian Wilderness Experience? Of your members? Yourself even? Take those definitions and questions as you ponder. We've learned about intention and impact in World Cultures, perhaps, in what I recall a more cautious scope, have we deeply considered this within ourselves?[2]
Around us, we’ve grown to having expectations upon us, grades, colleges, skills, hobbies, partners, etc. I can’t tell you if that’s good or bad. All I know is that when you actively place expectations on yourself, it becomes a polarized make or break situation. Oftentimes, what could be a beautiful experiential learning environment becomes like a grade. You try to quantify what you can’t properly qualify. The goal becomes the outcome instead of the process. This idea of outcomes become attached to our heads, like a pimple (pun intended?), until we focus on the bigger picture, like our health, environment, etc. And, to add, the outcomes last moments, but the process is forever. The outcomes is the process.
As humans, we set expectations on ourselves, and that’s ok.[3] Instead of suppressing your feelings and expectations, acknowledge them. Didn’t fulfill an intention? That’s fine, did you learn anything else, or think, try, or be different, even just once in your process? That’s all you need. Soon, perhaps, you’ll discover, if any, what’s “intending to intend [or not].”[4]
[1] For those that don’t know, AWE, is a month-long backpacking experience you do as a junior in high school.
[2] Assuming you've learned this, world cultures.
[3] I don’t know the exact references, but there’s some neuroscience and psychology research about this somewhere. If I find them, I’ll reference it here.
[4] Please share if you do :)